Just when you feel frustrated, you get a see a ray of hope. Just when you feel you know them, kids can surprise you and gladden your heart!
The Brothers have been having fights at the rate of one every three seconds nowadays. I don’t know whether it’s because of the heat, or that they’re bored because they just don’t have much to do, this being their summer vacation time, but they are in each other’s hair most of the time they’re together!
It usually starts with them playing together. Big A will want to give out precise instructions as to how the game should be played, even after my telling him a thousand times to lay off the bossiness. Little a will listen, some times, and other times, will clearly flout the rules. This results in Big A getting exasperated and shouting at him, and Little a, in complete rebellion, sticking his tongue out and even resorting to mocking or hitting out at his older brother…..I’m sure you can see that the whole thing slides into a full-fledged fist-fight pretty soon!
I sometimes ask The Husband if this is normal; he is one of three brothers, and he assures me that it definitely is! I myself have one brother who is 6 years older, so it was almost like we belonged to two different generations and we never fought like this! In fact, my brother was jealous of me, since I was born after he had been ruling the roost for a long time before I showed up. This really did not make for a lot of sibling love and it rankles still to remember his indifference to me for quite a long time!
Another of my friends also expressed the fear of her two children not being close to each other because of the age difference (they’re five years apart). She recalled how jealous she was of her younger sister; particularly when a insensitive relative teased her when her mom was pregnant that her parents wouldn’t care for her now that a new baby was on its way! I often wonder why people think that children’s feelings are not worthy of being taken seriously! My friend and her sister finally reconciled their differences in their teens.
So, with all this playing in my mind, it is always with some anxiety that I approach every argument they have. I resolve to not interfere and let them sort it out themselves; I resolve never to take sides and also to be fair; and I mutter to myself, “this is how siblings grown close…this is how siblings grow close…” every time I hear them screaming blue murder at each other!
So, it gave me great satisfaction and relief to see Big A give a quick hug to the sleeping form of Little a, who crashes early after his explosive performance throughout the day! Adopting a casual tone (question too closely and you scare them off), I asked him how come he was feeling affectionate towards Little a when he was so ready to beat him up a few minutes ago!
Instead of laughing it off, Big A said very seriously, “He’s annoying to me; he doesn’t listen and he’s rude, but when I see him sleeping like this (Little a looks particularly angelic with his eyes closed!), I feel very relaxed and I remember all the good times we have together and so I feel like hugging him and can’t wait to play with him!”
Wow! He’s already thinking like a parent!